


when you fall

by albion



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Death, Developing Relationship, Friendship, Gen, Les Misérables References, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Reincarnation, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 23:29:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1666454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/albion/pseuds/albion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t want to die,” Eren whispers. “I want to live.”</p><p>“We’ve survived this far,” Jean says quietly. “I won’t let you die.”</p><p>Eren looks up at him sadly.</p><p>“You don’t get to decide that,” he replies. “You can’t decide if I live or die.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	when you fall

They’re lying in bed, attempting to fall asleep to the sound of the wind blowing harshly in the night and somewhere in the distance, the sound of water running at the river’s edge.

Jean sighs, flops over on his mattress and starts fiddling incessantly with his pillow.

“Would you cut that out?”

“Go away Eren, I’m trying to sleep.”

“Your goddamn _pillow rustling_ is keeping me awake.”

“If you make me come over there,” comes Levi’s voice, dangerously low, “you _will_ regret it in the morning.”

Jean closes his mouth and flips on his stomach, lifting his head to stare at Eren on his own cot. Eren sticks out his tongue and throws himself back onto the mattress loudly, before Mikasa’s arm reaches out and slaps him hard on the chest.

“Ow!”

“Captain said go to sleep, so go. To. Sleep.”

Jean squeezes his eyes shut and blows out through his nose.

He falls asleep.

He dreams of a mountain, covered in smoke and blood. There are people yelling in a language he doesn’t understand, so Jean turns around instead and scrambles off the mountain, feeling the rocks slide dangerously underneath his feet as he half jumps, half falls off. A tall man appears with a rifle, and without even thinking Jean grabs it from his hands, slamming the butt into his forehead with a sickening crack. The man goes down, and Jean flees to the only building he can see in the distance.

He runs up a flight of stairs, and drops the gun somewhere along the way. His head is pounding. _His head is pounding—_

 

* * *

 

“This is so boring.”

“Right then. Perhaps you’d prefer to go inside and sip tea while the titans advance on our position because someone didn’t stay on watch?”

“Well, _you’re_ here, aren’t you?”

“And you’re really going to leave your safety in _my_ hands, are you?”

“Well… I’ve done it before.”

“We’re not… we’re not enemies anymore, are we?”

“No, I wouldn’t say that. Actually, I don’t… I don’t think we even were to begin with.”

“Neither me. So what then? Are we friends?”

“Maybe… I- I don’t know. Can we even have friends in this fucked up world? Loving people only makes it hurt more when they’re gone. Maybe we could have been friends in another life, but instead we’re here, and we’re humanity’s last hope.”

“Let’s not fuck it up then,” Eren says. “This time.”

Jean opens his mouth, the words _what do you mean ‘this time’_ on his lips, but Eren’s already slid off the wooden beams of the watchtower and is climbing his way down.

 

* * *

 

His head is pounding, and his feet feel like he’s treading through mud, but somehow he stumbles over the bodies that litter the floor.

There’s a man standing by the window.

No, not a man. A boy. A boy in a red coat that disguises all the blood that’s running from his hands, onto the fabric. Onto the floor.

The boy turns,

 

* * *

 

Dinner is a quiet affair, because Levi’s in a bad mood and nobody wants to risk saying anything. The captain digs his spoon into the stew and rips bread with his teeth, and Connie opens his mouth before Historia digs her elbow into his side and he closes it again.

Jean has a thousand questions, but no one here knows any of the answers.

 

* * *

 

Levi acquires a small amount of beer, and doles it out to waiting hands. Jean takes a swig of the bitter drink, makes a face, and keeps on drinking, because if he’s going to die, he might as well die not entirely sober.

Eren slides into his bed that night, once everyone else’s breaths have evened out and the wicks of the lamps have whittled down to almost nothing, and he runs his hands along the pale skin of Jean’s chest. His lips reach Jean’s neck, and Jean opens his mouth in a silent moan, and forgets for a second that this is Eren Jaeger.

They’ve shared much more than arguments, after all.

Eren creeps from Jean’s bed to his own before dawn breaks and the rest of the squad awaken, and Jean can’t help but feel a stab of pain at that.

 

* * *

 

“I refuse to live in a world where humanity cowers in fear!” Eren shouts, and his fist comes down hard onto the wooden table.

From his table a few feet away, Jean rolls his eyes. The suicidal bastard at it again. Let him spout his nonsense about destroying the titans and living free. All he’s going to do is get himself killed.

But everyone else in the room is hanging onto his word as if they were possessed, and there’s something glowing fiercely in Eren’s eyes that Jean doesn’t quite understand.

He lifts his head, and he listens.

 

* * *

 

The boy turns, and despite the fact that his clothes are different, his hair is different, his language is different, Jean could never forget that face.

Eren looks at him sadly, knuckles white where he’s gripping the splintering wood of the windowsill, and Jean hears the sound of running footsteps behind him.

 

* * *

 

Eren grabs at his shirt from behind one night when Jean is taking a walk by himself and twirls him around, pushing him hard against the wood of the cabin. Jean opens his mouth, but then Eren’s mouth is on his, hot and wet and Jean makes a low noise and reaches up to grab fistfuls of that brown hair. He grabs at the roots tightly, and pulls, and Eren makes a sound of pain.

He’s crying. His eyes are closed but the tears are escaping and he’s kissing Jean like it’s their last night on this earth and it may very well be—nobody knows what tomorrow will bring—and Jean kisses Eren back because he’s in love with him, he’s been in love with him for years and never even realised.

“I don’t want to die,” Eren whispers. “I want to live.”

“We’ve survived this far,” Jean says quietly. “I won’t let you die.”

Eren looks up at him sadly.

“You don’t get to decide that,” he replies. “You can’t decide if I live or die.”

Jean has no reply, because Eren is right and they both know it.

“One day more,” Eren whispers, and his fingers clutch at Jean’s shirt, head falling forward onto Jean’s chest. “Just give me one day more.”

 

* * *

 

There are soldiers behind them, and their guns are loaded and aimed directly at them both.

Eren stands with his back to the window, and in his hands is clutched a tattered red flag.

Jean steps over the bodies and reaches out his hand, asking for permission.

Eren smiles at him, and takes his hand. He lifts the flag up one more time, and remains pinned to the wall, like a grotesque memorial, the red cloth still in his hand.

But Jean never sees that part. He remains there, lying at Eren’s feet.

**Author's Note:**

> A Les Misérables fusion/AU where Eren is the idealistic Enjolras and Jean is the lovestruck pessimist Grantaire? Only I would do this to the fandom.


End file.
